There was a post on Facebook this morning that got me thinking about my family. It was called “the face of Meth”………………now most people simply never admit that a family member may have a drug problem…or if they do it’s all a whispered secretive thing that they seem to be ashamed of……………….then there’s me. I am not ashamed to say my sister is an addict. After all, it isn’t my behavior that’s had anything at all to do with her using or not using.
The FB thing said that meth addicts may try to hide their use………seriously? they can’t hide it from anyone. We, the non-users, generally just don’t know how to interpret the signs that we are seeing. My sis seems to think that if she admits to using a bit in the past but she’s clean now that I will miraculously believe her. I want to believe her but I am not stupid. I am a trained drug counselor with years of experience in recognizing the use. My silence does not constitute denial of her addiction.
She got involved in drugs years ago and was a recreational user until she found herself arrested, lost her job and was ready to lose everything else she owned due to her use……….then she was forced into getting help. She went through the outpatient clinic that my partner and I ran…..and the whole time was pretty much smoking pot and denying it was a problem. She readily agreed the meth was bad but “pot doesn’t hurt ya” ……sure thing.
So, after having to deal with her drama for years, I had enough a while ago…..and literally hadn’t spoken to her in well over a year. I thought about her every day, I prayed for her but I was no longer capable of dealing with all the drama that surrounds people who use illicit drugs…….and yes, Marijuana is still illicit in Texas. I’ve noticed (after working with people in the clinic for years) that drug use and domestic violence go along with each other………..and my sissy was in a violent relationship..she kept hanging on to a horrible person even though he verbally and physically abused her…….
well, she called me a few weeks ago and we reconnected when she asked me to help her at her new job. She got a job as an “office manager” she said but couldn’t get the fax machine connected…..and the computer needed things taken off it and stored on a floppy…….so I agreed. I met her at the shop and was early……..of course I was early. I am the official worm gatherer of the family.
Anyway, I waited around for her to show and watched (and talked to) the fellows in the office…..only one looked like he didn’t use. Everyone else was twitchy, irritable, kept picking at their faces and arms, knee bouncing, couldn’t stay still……I felt surrounded actually. Sis finally showed and even though she was dressed professionally was spinning out of control. Twitches, fast talking but not saying much, accusing others of hating her and wanting her to lose her job, boyfriend not treating her right, crying jags……….yep. Meth.
The boyfriend/boss was just as bad………..couldn’t stay still, outbursts of angry words for no reason……………..dang. All these people were using.except the three year old. did I mention, my sis was “watching” the boss/boyfriend’s kid? egads. Anyway, tried to talk with sis and let her know this was all unacceptable and she needed to make up her mind whether she wanted to work or have a boyfriend………..hoping she’d go for a job somewhere else. no go…so I said I’ll see ya later and took off…..never to return to this “office” of hers.
A few days after this, sis decided that she needed to kick out the boyfriend/boss…..more than likely he got fed up with her drama and meth induced brain damage and paranoia and moved out on his own. She said she’d quit her job……….well yea, I can see that. and she said she’d “been using and needed rehab” ……………which prior to my pulling my head out of my ass would have been the signal to go get her and drive her to a rehab……………so I said, “yes you do. Go to Austin and check in”
anyway, she hasn’t called back……………and i’m thinking i’m not calling her either. i don’t have time for the drama and lies anymore…..but i seriously miss my sister.