There once was a lady in Enid
Who ostensibly was needed
whenever a barn was demolished
or roaming pets abolished
to jiggle the rules till compliance was defeated.
Okay, so that was a rather horrid limerick, but honestly what’s there to actually say about the word “jiggle”?
It does bring into a better focus my frustration with the grass police though.
“Grass police”? Yes, GRASS police. We have a city worker here in Enid whose job is to make sure that all homeowners are in compliance with city regulations about building and maintenance of their properties. We call him the “grass police’ because he has been known to measure the grass with a ruler to see if it was ‘too tall”.
He seems to love writing up complaints about the homeowner’s lack of compliance.
I received my SECOND notice within 6 months about the alley behind my house. The first complaint was that the grass was too tall, so Garry and I cut it all down to bare earth. The second complaint was that there was “stuff” in the alley and the barn/shed needed repair and painting. This is the same shed/barn that I took out a demolition permit on the week before but had yet to hire someone to assist me taking it down.
I saw no reason to repair or paint a structure that I was planning on removing so I trekked off to the city office to complain. I asked to see a picture of whatever this boy was complaining about and was shown a picture of my barn/shed and ONE small piece of shingle on the ground next to it. What annoyed me was that with the issuance of a second complaint I was declared a “nuisance”. Yea, ME..not the property.
I schlepped on down to the city office and was firmly polite as I made my case for non-compliance. The barn/shed was rotten, termite ridden, had holes it in walls and was canted at a 25 degree angle….WHEN WE BOUGHT THE PROPERTY. That we had made basic repairs until we could afford to replace it. (I showed them a dozen before and after pictures). AND, that the prior week I had requested a demolition permit on the same building.
I then asked if anyone in the office ever talked to each other as NO ONE with a brain would have issued a complaint letter on a property to be demolished! Turns out the young man that wrote the complaint sits at a desk right beside the one in charge of permits. AND, this same young man is “supposed to” ask if any of the properties he is scheduled to visit are on a permitted list BEFORE he wanders on out to write his complaints..and that he had FAILED to do so since his hire date of six months ago.
GOT HIM!!!! The complaint, and resultant “nuisance” designation were immediately rescinded and an apology was issued. I was (finally) handed my demo permit and I left feeling vindicated.
I can hardly wait for the little irritating man to show up this Monday morning, camera in hand. This is what he is going to find:
Of course, once he stops salivating at the thought of writing me up for a thousand violations and is busily documenting the “problem”, I will show up with permit in hand. I have SIX MONTHS in which to finish the job of tear-down………I think I can live with this for five and a half more months.