Interview with an eggplant

My blogger buddy Cyranny left a comment on a post that had me snorting coca cola through my nose and onto the computer monitor…and because of that remark I now feel a compulsion to add to the volume of stupidity and nonsense with a new post.  So if you want serious, erudite and thoughtful commentary go find another blog.  This one isn’t even close!

Suze, a highly paid, gorgeous, erudite reporter for the transistor radio station: “Good morning world! Today we have a special guest that will share with us all the wonderful news straight from the backyard garden! That’s right…Ms Aubergine is here! (canned applause in the background).  let’s give her a hearty welcome to our show!”

Suze:  “Good Morning Ms Aubergine. How are you today?”

Eggplant:  “I’m an eggplant. How do you think I feel?”

Suze: “um, okay let’s just move right along to the questions then”

Eggplant: “I thought that was the question”

Suze: “what aspirations do you have for your future?”

Eggplant: “what?”

Suze:  “let me put it this way; where do you see yourself in ten years time?”

Eggplant:” in a landfill”

Suze:  “excuse me, did you say landfill?”

Eggplant: “no, I’m an eggplant. I didn’t say anything”

Suze, mumbling to herself, “why do I get all these stupid assignments?”

Eggplant: “you want me to answer that?”

Suze:  “ Moving right along, can you tell our readers your biggest accomplishment so far?”

Eggplant: “no”

Suze:  “OK, then can you tell us why you wear a wig?”

Eggplant: “no”

Suze:  “okay…ummmm….can you tell me why you agreed to an interview?”

Eggplant: “no”

Suze (totally losing patience with this danged vegetable): “If you won’t answer any questions, then what are you doing here?”

Eggplant  (unfocused staring at a wall)……….

Suze: well I am afraid our time is up. We’ll be back bright and early tomorrow with an outstanding garden performer who will tell us exactly how many cabbage leaves CAN a hungry caterpillar eat in a day! That’s right, we have Mr. Creepy the caterpillar! So tune in tomorrow!”

Commercial announcement: Stay tuned to this channel for “cooking with eggplants!”




4 thoughts on “Interview with an eggplant

  1. haha so funny! 🙂


  2. She should have interviewed lettuce. Lettuce entertain you.


    1. OHHHHHHHHHHHH, another great idea!


  3. an emailed comment from Cyranny…who according to WP is nothing but spam…lol:
    “I tried to post this comment about a thousand times, and WP keeps telling me it looks like spam… THIS IS NO GROUNDBEEF YOU DANG INTERNET!!! So I thought I’d send it by mail…


    Pfiewwww… let me catch my breath, here! First, I LOVE the picture! And the interview was awesome too! And see? You totally proved my point! This was, in fact far more informative and entertaining than any random protestor’s interview I’ve seen lately!

    Who would have thought something good would have come from snorting soft drink out of your nose, right??

    LOL again!”


Comments are closed.

search previous next tag category expand menu location phone mail time cart zoom edit close