I started to wash down the hallway walls in preparation for painting them. They are the last naked (think non-painted) walls in the house and are boring looking. I discovered a rather large spider web near a ceiling vent. Now I am not a fan of indoor spiders. In all truthfulness, I am not a fan of outdoor spiders either but I don’t freak out over them if they are outdoors That’s where they belong, but inside spiders tend to grow exponentially right before my startled eyes and I just have a (very slight) problem with them.
Anyway, after finding this web with my face you could say that I was just a little bit shocked. I did after all fall off the ladder in my mad attempt to get away from whatever monster was about to appear. When ten minutes went by and no sign of the hideous creature appeared, I thought it was probably safe to get the broom and sweep away the web. So off to find a broom.
Now, I know I have brooms in the house because I use one at least once a day (ok, maybe twice a week) But, the point is that I do use them so I know I have some. For the life of me, I can’t find one anywhere so I start searching for anything that will sweep away this gigantic web (see it’s growing cause it’s IN my house) and I finally find a mop in the bathroom behind the toilet. No, I DON’T know why it was behind the toilet but there it was, so I grabbed it and started back out to get the web off the ceiling.
Now, it seems that searching for mops and brooms causes spiders to come out of vents. I think perhaps they are curious as to the activity and just want to know what’s going on. This one also seemed to be watching my every move. I’d move the mop a little to the left and the danged spider would turn to the left! It was scary to say the least. I tried to fake out the spider by very quickly changing directions with the mop but it was smarter (or faster anyway) than me and would seemingly anticipate the movement and turn before I could. We (the spider and I) did this weird little dance routine for a few minutes until I decided I was getting nowhere.
So I changed tactics! I went outside to the yard-sale detritus and got the vacuum cleaner! Dragged that heavy sucker (oh wow, a pun! lol) back into the house and set it up. I was going to get rid of that spider!
As I was placing the hose onto the vacuum, I noticed a crawly thing on the side of the machine…………….it was………………..(sigh)………..another spider! CRAP! now they’re multiplying! (I know they weren’t multiplying..work with me here!)
After screeching (and dropping the vacuum hose) I decided the very best thing to do was the original plan of sweeping them away. George had a large push broom on the front porch, so I warily circled the vacuum and the ceiling vent to go back outside and get it, brought it back into the house and swept the ceiling spider up immediately.
The one on the vacuum must have noticed the death of his cousin and hid though as I couldn’t see it anywhere on the vacuum cleaner anymore. I thought “great! now there’s an escaped spider somewhere in the house!” After searching for it for a good twenty minutes and failing to find it I thought the cats might be of assistance. So I went back to the front porch to grab one or two and set them loose in the house.
The cats didn’t want to cooperate though. as it was their nap time. I tried nudging the cats with the broom so they’d go search for spiders, but they simply rolled over and wanted their bellies scratched…..how on earth do I tell a cat to go find a spider anyway? this was obviously not a well-considered plan……..back to the vacuum.
I got it all connected and plugged in without a single spider attack so I figured the silly thing had wandered off across the floor. As I turned on the vacuum the cats came instantly awake, screeching and running about like madmen! Well, that didn’t work.
So I turned it off (the vacuum not the cats) caught the crazed cats and put them back outside, started up the vacuum again and started to clean every surface I could find……walls, floors, ceilings……ok, there’s just one ceiling but I KNOW you know what I mean here! After an hour of vacuuming, I figured there couldn’t possibly be any living creatures to scare me and put away the machine. I set the ladder back up so I could reach the ceiling vent and started climbing up (then had to climb back down because I forgot my sponge)
I set the ladder back up so I could reach the ceiling vent and started climbing up (then had to climb back down because I forgot my sponge) where I came face-to-face with the spider! After picking myself up off the floor for the second (or maybe fifth) time, I thought I should just forget about cleaning the vents. George can do it later.