I had to memorize what we called the “times tables” in the fourth grade. And if that wasn’t bad enough, Mr. Harvey made us memorize the Guzzinta Tables too!
Oh, now, you all know exactly what I am talking about..the Guzzinta tables were the opposites of the Times tables..2 guzzinta 4 how many times?
I had a horrible time memorizing anything so I would write the tables on my legs. Then when I needed them, I’d inch up my skirt and check out the legs for the correct answer.
And of course, I managed to get away with this cheating for a week or so…until Mr. Harvey spotted my best friend Randy checking out my legs.
Mr. H came sneaking to the side of the room where Randy and I sat while we were taking a test on the Guzzintas…and yelled “AH HA! CAUGHT YOU” while grabbing me by the arm and yanking me out of my chair. He then blew it though. He yanked up my skirt to find the times tables written in ink on my legs…in front of everyone!
I was dragged off (of course crying from embarrassment) to the principal’s office where once again Mr. H. simply blew it. He yanked up my skirt and yelled, “She’s cheating!”. The principal was far more interested in why exactly Mr. H. thought it was appropriate to yank up a ten-year-old girl’s skirt.
I didn’t understand it at the time, but I never got in any more trouble than being dragged off to see Mrs. Auerbach.
I also didn’t understand why we had substitute teachers for the rest of the school year.
And I really didn’t understand why it was so dad-gummed necessary for me to learn the stupid Guzzinta tables.