So it’s the week after Thanksgiving and once again I am busy making fruitcakes…………yes, I said FRUITCAKES! I make them every year, end up with at least a half dozen before I am through and no one wants them. It’s strange that people either love them or absolutely hate them but everyone has a really strong opinion on them……..even those people that have never tasted one.
Now, I admit, the ones you can buy in a store are downright disgusting….all that citron and nuts in them……they’re usually dry as plywood and about as appetizing….so I really do understand why my friends and family all look like I’ve given them a pile of crap when I hand them out.. What isn’t really fair is that most of them (I KNOW this) throw them out without even tasting them. Last year I made chocolate fruitcakes and only ONE person even said how different it was, so all the rest were obviously given away (probably to the trashmen) because frankly NO ONE makes chocolate fruitcakes…….well, except me.
The very fact that my cakes are so different should come as no surprise to the people who know me……..I have never been what anyone would consider “normal” so why should my fruitcakes be normal……as in icky and yucky? My absolutely Un-normal cakes are really good……at least people that actually TASTE them say so.
Fruitcake reminds me of my childhood and the wonderful excitement I felt around the holidays…….we’d have a huge family dinner every Thanksgiving and Dad’s cousin Harold would show up…he always brought some strangely grown-up presents for us…..one year (I was ten) he brought me a make-up mirror! It’s the only time of year we saw him…………honestly I think my mom hated him so she never invited him, but we kids all adored him. Everyone needs a crazy cousin.
And Maude (my dad’s mom) would come for dinner and bring the most Gawd-awful chocolates as a “house gift”. We never knew why the house should get a gift and not us, but she was old fashioned that way. She and mom would get into some of the snarkiest arguments I’ve ever witnessed and it delighted us kids because Mom was not focused on how badly we behaved. Whatever was I talking about when I started this? Fruitcake, that’s it.
So this year I have decided to only make three and hold a sort of lotto for them………I think I’ll sell lotto tickets to all my unsuspecting friends and neighbors and the grand prize will be a fruitcake! Now, I have a recipe for an “unbaked” fruitcake. It’s made with graham crackers and marshmallow fluff along with the ever present fruit for those people that have to have it now instead of waiting for three weeks for the cakes to “cure”…….and I can make the chocolate one…….it has maraschino cherries, coconut and chocolate chips in it………….or I can make the applesauce fruit cake with pineapples and cherries in it
I haven’t really decided yet but just in case I do have all the ingredients for all of them.
George said I should just find something to make that people will actually eat for a change………….but I have a feeling that someone will appreciate my culinary efforts someday. Besides, this was from the man who buys a lotto ticket without fail and never wins anything! I think he’s trying to get out of eating the cakes I end up with when no one wants them. Not that he ever complains…except to say his stomach hurts after eating 1/2 of a cake.