OK, so why are none of the men reading this? it is about FOOTBALL! “Are you ready for some football?”

I’m not.  I don’t actually like to watch organized sports…I would so much rather play a sport. Sports, to me anyway, are far less interesting than watching paint dry. My husband, on the other hand, adores watching sports on the boob tube.  His favorite is football, and “his team” is the Washington Redskins.

When we first married I hadn’t a clue about football. Didn’t know the rules, didn’t know any teams…had no idea about any of the game except guys made too much money chasing a football around and kicking it at an end of the field for some reason. I went to my high school football games, but I never actually watched a game. It was simply a time to giggle with my friends and check out the cute boys in the band…and maybe buy a hamburger or fries.

So, when I got married to George, I didn’t have a clue that football would become a part of our lives….and for a while it didn’t. Of course, George was watching the games, but I was at work during them so I never knew.

photo: Sean Ryan /NFLuk

The first “game” I paid any attention to was during my vacation week from work.  I wandered into the living room to ask George something or other while he was watching his game.  I noticed the men wearing blue or red uniforms but that was about it. The next time I was in the room, the guys were wearing green or black and silver uniforms.  So I asked George “did they change clothes?” and he said “Yea, honey, they get dirty playing”.  I thought nothing of it.

The next time I came into the room (some two hours later) they had changed clothes again.  I did notice the scores this time and the orange team had 21 points and the grey team had 12. I wandered off to wash clothes.

By the time the laundry was done, the idiot people had changed AGAIN! This, even to me, was ridiculous! So I said “George, why on Earth do they keep changing clothes? It doesn’t look that dirty on the field”.  He said “It’s just they way they do stuff, Suze”.  Then I noticed the score. It had gone down on the side who had been winning.  So I asked what happened.  George said “They got penalties”…and I said “what for?”

My hubby said “Look, see that flag down on the field?  Those guys just got a penalty for interference”.  So I asked, “does that mean the score goes down again?”  He said “No, they have to do something really bad for that”.  Yes, I believed him.

The next time I came into the room the game was just about over.  I didn’t recall the high school games lasting seven or eight hours so i asked George “why does it take so long to finish a game?”  and my hubby said “Because there are commercials and they change clothes so much”.

It took almost forty years, but I have discovered that all those clothes changes were actually different teams….and my hubby can lie like a dog with a straight face.


3 thoughts on “OK, so why are none of the men reading this? it is about FOOTBALL! “Are you ready for some football?”

  1. Reblogged this on suziland too or obsolete childhood and commented:

    HEY you MEN out there! pay attention! FOOTBALL! okay, so I am being politically incorrect but someone needs to read this! dang it!


  2. Although I watch hockey all the time now (chéri totally corrupted my no-tv-sport-watching rule!!) the only time I agreed to watch some football, it was the end of a SuperBowl game. Chéri said “Do you mind if I switch to the game, they only have 5 minutes left!”

    Yeah. 5 minutes, right? Dang longest hour and a half of my life! Don’t be fooled girls!! Football is the fine art of stretching time…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I read this post. I enjoyed it. And having been raised in the DC suburbs, I, too, used to be a Redskins fan. But my love affair with football has lost much of its passion and I usually don’t get too into it until the post season, which is now underway. Unfortunately, my hometown teams are not participating this year. But I will most definitely be watching the Super Bowl…for the commercials. 😱

    Liked by 1 person

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