That the blog is a combo of insanity, silliness, personal history, rants, raves and most of all a written record to be used to embarrass them. If not, maybe I should say it again to them. Either that or post a disclaimer like ***if you are biologically connected to me in any way, shape or form, beware of the following posts as they shall embarrass you***
Thinking about my kids as I was reading another bloggers posts, I thought I would like to simply record some memories of being a mom to my sweet progeny.
During a visit to a local grocers, first born son in tow, I was waiting rather patiently for the two people in line ahead of me to complete their purchases so I could go home to complete one of the myriad chores I had ignored. My son, spotting a gentleman in front of us in the line, stared for several moments at the man’s……….well………….HUGE belly. The man realized my progeny was observing him and turned with a frown. My son, seeing the gentleman’s face, looked incredibly startled then burst forth with “I didn’t know men could have BABIES!”.
I was picking up my eldest from preschool one day and he had a special request for his dinner. Upon leaving the room, he asked for me to bake PAPER CUPS. I tried in as gentle a way possible telling him why PAPER CUPS were not entirely edible and could I interest him in something else? He was adamant about having “paper cups”. I told him repeatedly that we did not have any paper cups, nor did humans eat paper products…he (of course, being 4 years of age) screamed he needed them. His teacher came out to see what all the screaming was about (children normally screamed INSIDE the classroom, not on the way home), heard his tearful demand and started laughing. She said “he is saying “apricots””….then asked me “don’t you understand your OWN CHILD when he is talking?” and gave me a disgusted look. (well, obviously not).
The teen years weren’t much better for my children.
My second son, in an effort to be “cool” bleached his gorgeous reddish-brown wavy hair to absolute white, then added neon colors to it. He had it spiked out in an amusing way (if it had been someone else’s child) with a product called “hair glue”. Now, he did all of this while I was at work, but realized right about the time I was due home that I might not be totally pleased with his fashion statement….so he tried to shampoo it all out again.
The result was that his once gorgeous hair stuck out in multiple soapy spikes of extremely FADED neon colors……….pale green, pink and peach best describe them. He remained hidden in his room until I called everyone in to dinner………..and reluctantly came forth in all his……glory?
I glanced up at him as he seated himself, took a second fast look then quickly turned away (I was choking down laughter at that point). When I regained control I asked “did you mean for your hair to look like that?”. He replied “it’s just temporary, Mom”. He then stated he was staying home from school until it was back to normal. I let him live with the colors for a day…he went to school and just to make sure he stayed there, I drove him.
When I got home from work later that evening I found him shaving his head. He asked for another razor as his was now “to dull to finish the job”. He went to school the next day with a half a head of hair that was pink, peach and green. Thus my reputation with all the school children of being a “radical mom”.