my mother would have been 97 today

had she still lived.

I had a problematic relationship with my mother….she was a narcissist and I was to be her reflection in everything. Of course, not knowing I was her reflection led to lots of problems over the years.

It took me over forty years to come to the realization that I could never satisfy her, never be appreciated by her, never be truly loved by her.

It has taken me longer to forgive her.

I rarely think of her anymore.  It is far easier to be happy or feel good about myself if I ignore the fact of her life. That may sound horrible.  I no longer care if it does. It took me a long long time to let go of the pain of being her daughter.

A Narcissist never loves.  They don’t care about anything except how they look to others.  It is damned near impossible to love them.

My mother would have been 97 today had she lived.

I am relieved she didn’t.

13 thoughts on “my mother would have been 97 today

  1. Sorry to read about that Suze… It always hurts me to see how some people never got the love they would have deserved as a child. My parents are both such loving people… Sad to see it is not a given.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. it is what it is sweetie..I grew stronger because of it all. so it was a good thing eventually.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh, I know there is always a silver lining… but it doesn’t mean it it is a good thing. Anyway… Love the you it made you!

        Liked by 2 people

      2. did you ever get that blasted package??????

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Noooooooo I am adultnaping the mailman, Monday, if he doesn’t bring it.

        I thought I was getting it last thursday, the little Canada Post truck parked in front of my house… But the delivery wasn’t for me 😦

        Liked by 1 person

      4. it is really beginning to annoy me. I asked at the post office where it was and they said “canada”…well, THAT was helpful, wasn’t it? I said where in canada, and the Post office lady said “I don’t know. I don’t read French”………….ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!

        Liked by 1 person

      5. LOL she could have shown you, and you could have “translated” for her, Mouahahahahahahaha… Jokes aside, I am really hoping on Monday! I have my good waves on full blast!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. hi. i’ve heard narcarcists are the worst type of people to live with. i am glad you have found a little bit of piece though. xx

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Hey, umm sorry bout this and love the way you’ve written it, It’s so simple and short and beautifully you ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. thank you Count. Appreciate it very much.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. …that is often how long it takes to realize… as kids want to be loved and do all to be lovable,
    too bad she could not love, she missed a lot.

    Thanks for writing ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. thanks for the kind validation E.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. You have come through it like a champ, though! Her loss, that she never knew what a great daughter she had.

    Liked by 1 person

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