Sam, the newly aged six year old next door, visited yesterday evening.
He was all agog over the guinea pig at school. It seems “Melvin” the Guinea Pig had six babies and the class had to find a new name for their formerly male guinea.
Sam: “Granma Suze! Guess what? You will never guess, but guess what? Guess what happened at school to Melvin! Melvin had babies! It was really really gross and nasty and Melvin needs to be a gril now cause he had babies! Can a guinea pig be a boy then a gril? How did that happen?”
once Sam took a breath and I could control my laughter I asked “so when did the class get a guinea pig?”
Sam replied, “Amy brought Melvin to school for show and tell last week in January and the teacher said Amy had to take him home but Melvin stayed in class cause Amy’s mom said no more guinea pigs at home”.
I said “last week in January?” And Sam replied…”no, either last week or maybe in January. I don’t remember”
Sam: “Granma Suze, Ralph said we should name Melvin stinky but the teacher said that’s a bad name for a gril and Ralph said no it isn’t cause his sister has a stinky bottom and teacher said Ralph needed to go in the corner and think about what he said and he didn’t get to go to the playground cause Ralph said the teacher had a stinky butt and she made him go to THE OFFICE! He didn’t come back either! What do they do in THE OFFICE?”
I said, “well, Sam, when you go to the office you have to talk to the principal and sometimes your parents get called and they have to come and talk to the principal”
Sam: “I’m never gonna go to THE OFFICE cause I am gooder than Ralph”.
I agreed that was probably true, as I hear a new ‘bad Ralph” story almost every week.
After Sam calmed down with a cookie I asked if the class had ever decided on a name for the guinea pig and he briskly nodded….it isn’t polite to speak with a mouth full of cookie, ya know.
me, “so what is her new name then?”
Sam : “Gary”
I just looked at him for a moment then said “but Sam, Gary is a boy name and the guinea pig is a girl”
Sam just smiled at me and said “but there aren’t any good gril names Granma Suze, except Suze and the teacher said no self despected lady would ever be named Suze”
I asked why not? and Sam said
“Because it rhymes with booze”.