This was the first sentence out of a young man’s mouth as I answered my cell phone.
“really?” I said. “which contest did I enter?”
Young man” Hello Mrs. (he never said Mrs who exactly). This call may be recorded for training porpoises” (yes, that is an exact quote)
Young man: “Hi I am James and am calling to let you know that you have won the Publisher’s Cleaning House prize for this month! It is your choice of a BRAND NEW CAR or 20K dollars”.
Me: “well, I suppose that is nice. Are you sure it is with Publisher’s Cleaning House though?”
Young man: “Yes, Mrs. (still no mrs. what or who) You have indeedy won this month’s prize. Now I need to ask you a few questions so our delivery driver knows exactly how you want your prize delivered”.
Me: “Well, they already know where I live. My address is in their database.”
Young man: “Do you have a valid Id and do you have an active checking account which we can deposit the money?”
Me: “yes to both. What if I want the car instead?”
Young man: Of you don’t want the car. You get more money if you take the money”.
Me: “well, I am not giving you my checking account information”
Young Man: “that’s why I gave you the phone number, so you can call the delivery driver and give him the bank information”
Me: “excuse me, but do I sound stupid to you?”
Young Man: “yes but the driver is scheduled to deliver and we must have you call to confirm delivery at this number 876-879-7339. Again that number is…”
Me: the number you are calling me from. It is showing on my caller id, the number is 876-879-7339 and originates in Jamaica. so why do I need to call?”
Young man “You must call to confirm delivery at this number and dial extension 11. The driver will answer that extension and get directions from you at that time.”
Me: “Honestly, Why should I go to the trouble of making an overseas call when I already have you on the line? Wouldn’t that be silly? Why should i pay for an overseas call when your company is so rich?”
The young man hung up on me! Now, honestly, how am I supposed to get my Publisher’s Cleaning House prize now? I really don’t want to call Jamaica for it.