a day after……

Let me begin by stating how I really and truly feel. I am sad.  Terribly sad.

My life has been basically a lot of fun with a bit of fear over health concerns thrown in for good measure over the past five years.

I live in a place that I love, have a fully paid off home that I love..have good friends that I love.

My husband of many years is once again on his way to being healthy after a huge heart problem this last year.

Things were going extremely well for us.

Then, yesterday things changed.

I went to a friend’s house early in the morning to drop off an item she needed. While there, I asked a simple question of her husband…nothing in it to get upset over. BUT, upset he became.  He started yelling at me all kinds of excuses, half-thruths and outright lies about my friend, my husband and me! As I stood there stunned by it all he shouted at me to “get out of my house” and started towards me.

I believe I asked at that time why I should leave. I only asked a question.

He put his hands on me.

He grabbed me by the shoulders, shook me hard a few times then shoved me backwards towards the front door. I stumbled and fell shoulder first into the side of their refrigerator. I stood up and said “don’t you EVER put your hands on me again!” and he started towards me again and yelled “I’ll throw you out this time”.

My friend got in between us and shouted at him to just leave and don’t touch me again.

I backed into a different room, and he stormed off.

I apologized to my friend and said “I’m calling the police hun”………she agreed that I needed to and dialed the phone for me as I was shaking too much.

The police came. I made a statement, wrote it down and signed it. I was looked over to see if I had any marks…it seems “marks or blood” take the case from a class C Misdemeanor to a class B……I don’t care about classes. I care about my friends.

I don’t know why he went off on me. He’s always been fairly nice to me in the past. For God’s sake, we lived with them for a year right after we moved here from Texas. I know he has changed enormously over the past three years, but I never would have thought he’d become so angry that he physically attack me. I looked at my friend when the police had left and said “I can’t believe this is happening” and she said “this is how he’s been treating me for a year”.

She’d been abused for a YEAR and I hadn’t known? She’s the best and closest friend I have ever had…and I didn’t know? I feel ashamed about that.

I can’t help thinking what an awful friend I have been for the last year…not to have seen what was happening. and I am so sad that I lost a friend in him.

For, I will never again trust him. Never.

11 thoughts on “a day after……

  1. This is extremely disturbing. I feel for your friend and you too. You did absolutely right. Hope there is a solution to this problem.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. What a terrible thing to happen. I’m so sorry for how things have been. None of my business, but sounds like maybe dementia setting in with this person, and needs help. You did the right thing, and hope things get better.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. i am praying for there to be dementia…it’s the only valid excuse I can find for him to act this way.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I wish you and your friend safety and resolution. Could be any number of things going haywire with her husband, but it does not excuse that behavior. You are a great friend to her. Thank you

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Holy cow Suze. Frightening, both for you and your friend. I would think it is something medical that has triggered this horrendous change, or maybe financial? The problem is enhanced by trying to get him to acknowledge there is a problem and to find the reason behind his behaviour. I hope an explanation and solution is found quickly.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Big hugs Suze.

    Also don’t blame yourself that you didn’t know about your friend, we get conditioned to think its our fault and to be ashamed when we are abused (physically or emotionally) its all our fault, no one will believe us.

    She has told you now and its the right time for her

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Omg, that is craziness! I’m so sorry this happened to you and that she has been dealing with it for so long. I agree, maybe it’s a medical issue like Alzheimer’s or dementia. That can make people become violent, especially in the afternoon. I hope he gets the help he needs and y’all resume a healthy relationship.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Wow, that’s unbelievable how a supposed friend could so violently turn on you. The guy needs therapy and his wife needs to make sure he gets help or she should get away. I hope it works out.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. he disappeared the day it happened. he snuck back in in the middle of the night and took a camp cot and his meds. haven;t seen him since. what rational person thinks sleeping out somewhere on a camp cot is appropriate? i’m worried about his mental health.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Sounds like you should be worried.

        Liked by 1 person

Comments are closed.

search previous next tag category expand menu location phone mail time cart zoom edit close